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I didn't want to write about this yesterday because I didn't want to put a damper on the nice reviews I've been getting, but I went to get a mammogram yesterday morning, and even though I got a clean bill of health six months ago, they want to do another biopsy.
I am, of course, PSYCHED.
Basically this new doctor who I have never met before walked in and said that she wasn't satisfied with the results from the tests that had been done before, that they were too vague, even though they were benign. She wanted to know exactly what it was that was hanging out in there, so that they would know whether or not to keep an eye on it in the future. Also they are going to put a titanium chip in my breast to help with future biopsies. A brief google search tells me a titanium chip can (thought not necessarily) cause major pain and discomfort. Awesome.
I am trying really hard to stay positive. All of these tests I've had this year have been really spiritually invasive. I am a generally healthy person and of course I want to do whatever it takes to keep myself healthy but this is getting exhausting. I hate that I have to go through tests every six months for the rest of my life. It just feels like something significant has changed in me. I know so many people have to go through so much worse in their lives with their health and I have been lucky so far (especially considering how irresponsible I have been in my past) but I can't help but moan a bit.
This feeling will pass. Writing about it makes it better.